Categories
Humour

Trust Me – I Don’t Tell Lies

There was a lady who said, “I hate telling lies. I don’t tell lies.”

There was a day we were discussing, and she made me to know that she doesn’t tell lies.

“Do you know that doctors have different kinds of instrument for surgical operation?” She asked me, but I was not surprised to hear that.

She continued, “Do you know that I they also use saw to during operation?”

I was surprised to hear that from her, may God help us because I really confirmed that truly she doesn’t tell lies.

Am I not right that she doesn’t tell lies? If I were you what would be your reaction?

Kindly let me know through your comments.

Categories
Humour

Dirty Slap That Transforms: A Funny Video For Today

This is a funny video I will like you to watch.

If you were at the place it happened, what would you do?

Please be sincere!

Categories
Humour

Be Careful of Who Prints Your Wedding Invitation Card! 

A little mistake can cause a great  wahala. Why? You might ask.

I have a short funny story for you. Enjoy!

A printer was asked to put 1 John 4:18 on a wedding card but he made a mistake by not including the “1” before John so he printed John 4:18

1John 4:18 says” There is no fear in love but perfect love cast out all fears”

Categories
Humour Inspiration

Don’t Drag The Tray: A Lesson for Everyone

I will like to share with you a funny but thoughtful story with you. Relax and enjoy….

A man was sent to the annual national convention of his professional body by his company. 

The convention was a congregation of about 10,000 people. 

During one of the days at the covention, it was time for lunch and people were being served. 

This man saw that, they were serving people beside him left and right but they were not serving him and the people on his row. 

Well you know how some people people behave when hungry but could not controlled it. 

He shouted at the ladies serving and they told him to keep calm that there is enough food for everyone and that it will soon get to his turn. 

He watched angrily as they passed the tray containing plates of soup and amala before him again twice without serving him. 

When he saw another lady carrying the tray, he stood up angrily and drag the tray of ewedu (a drawing soup like okro in Yoruba land) soup to take his food by force.

Suddenly, the whole tray containing about 6 plate of soup landed on his head as he dragged the tray from the lady’s hands. 

Are you are surprised?

His white cloth was stained, soiled and spoilt. Pepper got into his eyes and he was shouting,”My eyes ooo, somebody help me, my eyes oo, pepper in my eyes oo!!!”

People around him had to drag him out as he could not open his eyes because of the pepper that was still in his eyes. It was a complete show of shame and a reward of impatience.  
Dear reader, many of us are like this man, we feel others are already ‘eating‘ success, breakthroughs, fame, popularity, academic excellence, accomplishments and we are yet to be served our own ‘food‘ and we are being tempted to ‘drag the tray’ and take our  own food by force.

 Friends, I know waiting period is not an easy period. Atimes we feel our friends have left us behind. Many that we started as single ladies together are now married with children and here we are; still single and no ray of proposal talk less of marriage. 

Some of us,many of our friends that we got married the same year are through with child bearing and here we are, no miscarriage once talk less of pregnancy, and we feel like ‘dragging the tray’. 

Atimes, many of us feel that many of our friends that we started work together have left us behind as we see their career blossoming, we feel the only way we can also see our careers validated is to ‘drag the tray’.   

Friends, be encouraged!

 The one serving this ‘food’ of marriage, success, promotion, career breakthrough is not a man. HE is GOD your Maker!

HE has your own plate of ‘food’ in HIS tray. At the appointed time, HE will serve you and when you will be eating your own food, those who have eaten before you will watch your mouth as you ‘eat’ with pleasure. 
Don’t ‘drag the tray’. Don’t take short cut. Remember that shortcut can cuts you short of some things you ought to receive in full. 

If you get the ‘miracle’ by ‘dragging the tray’ you will end up in ridicule as you will later be dragged out in shame as the ‘pepper’ in your eyes will make the end of your ‘miracle’ a show of shame.  

If you are waiting for a man, you can waste but if you are waiting on GOD, your waiting period is never a wasting period! 

Wait on GOD. Your ‘food’ is closer to you than you think. 

Don’t drag the tray! 

Don’t drag the tray!! 

Don’t drag the tray!!!

 Are you in a situation whereby you think it’s getting late? Don’t be in a hurry because there is a morning after a night.

Hope you’re blessed. 

It’s your time to bless others with your contribution to this with your comment. Please share your thoughts on this.

Categories
Humour

How The Economy Makes A Woman Price School Fees

May God bless us in this country as things are going on. I was having my leisure time when a friend sent me this funny observation or let me say a funny story which I will like to share with you. Enjoy with me:

       This economic recession is no longer funny oo, I saw a woman pricing school fees, “Aunty, How much if we remove Geography and Physical Education? I want him to become a doctor not a traveler. Or what if he comes to school only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays will you reduce it?”

BodjetstarComedyHouse

This is really serious o. 

Ehn….before I drop my pen, what is your own view on this matter? 

If you happened to be the proprietor of the school what would be your response? Please let’s discuss by commenting below.

Categories
Humour

Can Money Be Taken to Heaven? 

An Edo Man invited his friends for his mother’s burial. After lowering the coffin, the family put yam, rice, meat etc, into the grave in line with tradition. A Hausa Man asked, “why?” The Edo man smiled and said,”According to our tradition, the dead go on a long journey and need all the food items they can get”.

 The Hausa man dropped N100,000 inside and said, “When the food finish, buy more”. 

The Yoruba man dropped N50,000 and said, “Add this in case it’s not enough.”

Before I continue, Do you know that Igbo man like money?

Well, when it got to the turn of the Igbo man, he smiled and brought out his cheque book and wrote a cheque of N200,000. He dropped it in the coffin and took the N150,000 notes as change, then said, “Nwanne, withdraw it when you reach there oooo!!!.. It is going to be a dangerous journey, we don’t know how many robbers are out there and afterall we are in a cashless economy. Travel well oooo!

Disclaimer: This joke is not to embarrass or abuse any tribe but to make people laugh and stay blessed with the message passed across 

Igbo Kwenu!!!

Well, this is to remind you that all is vanity. Vanity upon vanity. Instead of pursuing God so that He can help you in all you do, you are pursuing wealth. But remember that when you die, all will be left for those who never struggle as you did and someone else will come to enjoy it in your absence. Vanity upon vanity.

You need to walk in line with God for your work to work for you that your labour will not be in vain.

Now u r laughing. Put a smile on somebody’s face today. Don’t break d link..

Categories
Humour

The Remix of GodWin By Korede Bello

The music, GODWIN, by a Nigerian Artiste, Korede Bello, is what a Calabar girl, named Etebong, was
singing in her own way. This is what she sang:

I ron get alert DOG MEAT

I ron buy motor na DOG MEAT

On my werring day na DOG MEAT

I ron pay my rent na DOG MEAT

Everything I do na DOG MEAT oooo,
na DOG MEAT oh, Na DOG MEAT oooo..

I SEE YOU LAUGHING, SO SHALL YOU LAUGH
ALL THROUGH 2016.

Categories
Humour

Escaped From The Psychiatric Hospital

I want you to read this and give your comment on what you would do if it was you.
A man was travelling and sat beside the driver.
After an hour drive on the journey, the driver started laughing uncontrollably. The man asked him what was the joke. The driver looked at him and burst into another laughter and then he said, “I wonder what they will say at the mental asylum by the time they find out that I have escaped.”

So what would you do at that moment if you were the one sitting next to the driver?

Categories
Humour

I Thought It Was My Husband!

My dear people, do you know there are strong women in this great nation, Nigeria?
You say ‘Yes!’
Well, we do say, “What a man can do, a woman can do better.”
Let me quickly tell you this short funny story.
A woman was being praised for her ability to wrestle a burglar who tried to rob her to the ground.
“Madam…” the police remarked, “I am amazed that you had the courage to attack a burglar and with everywhere being dark.”
“Oh!” replied the woman who was a little embarrassed, “I didn’t know it was a burglar, I thought it was my husband.”

Do you now see that this is serious!
What’s your own view about this?

Once again welcome to Bodjetstar Comedy House (BCH)!
I remain Bodjetstar.
Thank You!

Categories
Humour

Should This Man Say “Amen!”

A man went for an HIV test on a Friday. He was told to come back for the result the following week.
That weekend, the man went to church. The pastor made some prophetic declaration to the congregation, “Whatever you are hoping for shall be positive in Jesus Name!”
As the whole congregation responded “Amen!” The man stood and shouted, “No! I reject it in Jesus name. My result shall be negative!”

Assuming you were present in the church that day, what would be your own view about the man’s reaction?

Categories
Humour

Who Is The Fool Among These People? You Need To Read This!

Dear readers, I want you to state who the fool is among the following people used as case study below:

1. A man who went to bank with spanner to open an account.

2. A man who removes his shoe to enter a taxi.

3. A woman holding a ruler to measure how long she slept.

4. A lady waving to a newscaster on TV.

5. A nurse waking up sleeping patients to take sleeping pills.

6. A man spraying himself baygon insecticide to chase away mosquitoes.

7. A man polishing shoe and spraying perfume to take passport photograph.

Among these seven, who is a fool?
Let’s have your own replies to these.

Don’t just read alone, please share with others.

Categories
Humour

The Beggar With A Blind Dog

A man sat at a corner in a particular street with very heavy, dark glasses. He had a dog on which he hung a card with the inscription: “I am blind”. Every morning the beggar always had some amount of money being dropped by an elderly man who passed by.
One day, the elderly man passed by without carrying out his usual act of charity. Immediately, the beggar pursued him and asked why he did not drop money as usual?
The man was surprised that the beggar could recognize him and said, “I thought you were blind?”

“No Sir,” replied the beggar, “I am wearing the dark glasses because of the sun. It’s my dog that is blind.”

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