Categories
Humour

Trust Me – I Don’t Tell Lies

There was a lady who said, “I hate telling lies. I don’t tell lies.”

There was a day we were discussing, and she made me to know that she doesn’t tell lies.

“Do you know that doctors have different kinds of instrument for surgical operation?” She asked me, but I was not surprised to hear that.

She continued, “Do you know that I they also use saw to during operation?”

I was surprised to hear that from her, may God help us because I really confirmed that truly she doesn’t tell lies.

Am I not right that she doesn’t tell lies? If I were you what would be your reaction?

Kindly let me know through your comments.

Categories
Humour

I Thought It Was My Husband!

My dear people, do you know there are strong women in this great nation, Nigeria?
You say ‘Yes!’
Well, we do say, “What a man can do, a woman can do better.”
Let me quickly tell you this short funny story.
A woman was being praised for her ability to wrestle a burglar who tried to rob her to the ground.
“Madam…” the police remarked, “I am amazed that you had the courage to attack a burglar and with everywhere being dark.”
“Oh!” replied the woman who was a little embarrassed, “I didn’t know it was a burglar, I thought it was my husband.”

Do you now see that this is serious!
What’s your own view about this?

Once again welcome to Bodjetstar Comedy House (BCH)!
I remain Bodjetstar.
Thank You!

Categories
Humour

Should This Man Say “Amen!”

A man went for an HIV test on a Friday. He was told to come back for the result the following week.
That weekend, the man went to church. The pastor made some prophetic declaration to the congregation, “Whatever you are hoping for shall be positive in Jesus Name!”
As the whole congregation responded “Amen!” The man stood and shouted, “No! I reject it in Jesus name. My result shall be negative!”

Assuming you were present in the church that day, what would be your own view about the man’s reaction?

Categories
Humour

Funny Vote Of Thanks Given You Need To Read. #2

Let me continue from where I stopped on The Funny Votes Of Thanks 1.

The man continued his speech,
“Very big thanks to my parents for bringing the village cultural band to entertain us all here, today.
“Hmmn! also not forgetting the church marriage committee, thank you for persuading my wife to marry me. “Appreciation to the married men in the church for rushing me into this marriage.
“The women are not left out, thanks a lot for teaching my wife how to cook and dance.
“To the youths, thank you for sweeping and decorating this venue with palm fronds. I am also grateful to my teenage friends for helping with fanta and cocacola drinks.
“Appreciation to my co-tenants for contributing money for the cameraman.
“Well, I wish you all safe journey and I pray you don’t experience what I suffered for this wedding.”

My people, why not reply “amen” to this prayer: You Will Not Experience This In Jesus Name!
Give one word for this couple …..

Categories
Humour

Funny Vote Of Thanks Given You Need To Read. #1

In a wedding reception, the groom was called upon to give his vote of thanks to his guests and this is what he came up with:

“First of all, I thank the Almighty GOD for creating my wife and also thank my pastor and his wife for lending us their wedding rings.

“Special appreciation to my landlord who lent us his car.”
He faced his boss direction, “I am most grateful to my boss for approving the loan I used for my wedding suit.

“Big thanks to the committee of friends for the appeal fund they raised on my behalf.

“Also to my brother’s wife, thank you for lending us your wedding gown and to my sister for lending
her shoes to my wife.

“Am so grateful to the cake designer for the cake. I promised to return it tomorrow morning as agreed without cutting or eating out of it.

“Special thanks to my friends who brought food from their homes to help in feeding you
all. For those who were served food good luck and for those who didn’t get any, well we will make it up to you during our child dedication.”

Categories
Humour Tips

My Mess Saves Me From Mess – A Man God Saved From Robbers

Wonders shall never end in this Naija ooh! Hmmn, if you know how to fart (mess) very well, congratulations!
One day, God will use that to save you from problems as He delivered my neighbour from thieves. Here is the story of how he used one odourlistic and smelliological mess to save himself from robbers in a one-chance bus as we do call them.
"We are just two that were carried while those in the bus are robbers". He started with laughter, "They started from the first person who sat at the front. They collected his phones and some amounts of money. As they were beating him, I just released this silent but mighty mess that everybody started covering their noses. I did as if am innocent. They got annoyed that they hit the man again thinking he was the one who farted. I released another mightier one again because a stitch in time saves time so that they won't get to me after dealing with the other man. Suddenly, they asked us to get down from the bus. Help me to thank God Oo!"

What's The Level Of Your Fart?